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The Assholes

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(hey asshole)

mod post [11 May 2009|06:07pm]

[ mood | confused ]

Holy shit, is anyone still here? I return to my LJ after college and realize that I completely forgot about this community? Any one up for a resurrection?

(hey asshole)

[28 Jun 2005|12:10pm]

go on. be an asshole.

(1 asshole | hey asshole)

JOIN US [04 Jun 2004|06:08pm]

[ mood | restless ]

hey you filthy losers, come join _scatty -where the perverts unite-

you ban me if you want. im just promoting a community

[27 Apr 2004|06:10am]

Seasonal Exercisers

  • Bicycle riders. I'm not talking about the professional cyclists you see around. Those guys know the rules of the road and don't fuck with you. Sure, they make you uneasy as you drive next to them, but most of them have great etiquette. No, I'm talking about the plumber who decides he wants to get in shape but is afraid he'll shatter his knees if he tries to run (not that I can blame him). They wobble down the center of the street at 5mph, 10 if the tires haven't popped yet. You impatiently follow them, secretly hoping that they'll fall over and give you an opportunity to run over them with the alibi that they fell in front of your car as you were passing them. They never fall though. Their fat provides some sort of extraordinary balance, sort of like the buoyancy they have in the water. And sometimes they make an attempt at letting you pass, but they wobble right back into your path and are too big to get around anyway. I usually keep donuts with me and toss one to the side as far as I can.

  • Women "speed walking" in tights. Yeah, you thought this was an early-90's trend, but it's still going on. It should be classified under public indecency and outlawed. The women don about thirty pounds of fat before winter so they can hybernate inside their homes in between soccer season and baseball season. When nice weather rolls around, they buy a pair of black spandex pants 6 sizes too small and go out walking so that they can lose enough weight to fit into a bathing suit and spend the entire summer at the beach. In reality, they never slim down. All the weight they lose, if any, is gained back when they celebrate by eating three cheesecakes. Plus, they only actually go out to exercise once a week at most. But because there are so many of them, I'm still forced to witness them multiple times a day, every day.

  • The best part? When the spandex pants are so small that when the fatass puts them on, the seams stretch to such an extent that you can see their cellulite-ridden legs blotching at the sight of the sun. Or when they decide they're still going to spend all summer at the beach, even with their rolls hanging out of their bathing suit and sea of cellulite wafting over their slightly rippling fat, resembling the waves of the real sea.

  • People who think walking their dog to the end of the street is exercise. Tell you what: if you agree to also bend over and pick up the dog shit that your dog leaves on the sidewalk, I'll consider it a form of aerobics.

  • Joggers/Runners. With this group, I detest those who are actually in shape and do it regularly, and not the amateurs. Amateur joggers know that they suck and should stay on the sidewalk (or maybe they know that people pay money to see oddities as weird as their running technique and thus try to stay out of sight). But for some reason, the more "athletic" runners feel as though they deserve to run in the bike lane, or if there is none, on the road itself. Who put it in their head that they can run as fast as a fucking car? YOU CAN'T. EVER. You can't even run as fast as a car in the slowest speed zone around here. And hell, if there are no sidewalks, at least jog on the correct side of the road (the left side) and in a column, not a row. I feel like I'm bowling when I'm driving, and you have no idea how tempting it is to go for a strike instead of the lawful gutterball.

  • Anyone that thinks riding a jet ski is a form of exercise is an idiot. And anyone that rides their jet ski too close to the shore, let alone all the way onto the fucking shore, is getting torn off and used as a stepping stool as I steal your jet ski. Kids swim there, prick. And I pee there.

  • Assholes at the beach who think they own it just because they're in shape and tan. Yeah, you'll probably be having sex in the water later and I won't be. But I can still piss in the water, and that puts me in power.

Started to get a little off track, so I'll stop there. Let me know if you can think of any other types of outdoor exercise.

Comment here, if you don't mind.

[10 Apr 2004|03:26am]

Figured it might be worth posting this here.

My Rules of the RoadCollapse )


(hey asshole)

Ronald McDonald sucks! [05 Apr 2004|02:47pm]

Yeah, so I just joined cause......yeah, uh....I'm an asshole, obviously. So I decided I'd let you know what pisses me off. Little whiney bitches that won't shut up cause they didn't get into the college they wanted to like my little sister. Wah wah wah, I didn't get into Yale. WTF, shit, I barely got into community college and do you see me complaining? Okay, Want to know the real reason why I'm an asshole? cause I just fuckin hate people. They are a bunch of idiots. And who is their leader, but the king of the idiots, George Bush. No offense to any Pro bush lovers out there, but, ....well I'm an asshole, so yeah, there is offense in that. Anyway, I think I'm done venting for now. Just felt like talking shit about shit.

(hey asshole)

[24 Mar 2004|09:45pm]

[ mood | pissed off ]

Since I am the new mod of this community I figured I'd drop a "Fuck you"

What's up people? Why aren't you pissing and moaning about shit. You know what pisses me off? Radio stations, they play shit all day long, repeat it, then try to be witty and tell jokes in their monotone voices, and repeat all the "in" songs all over again. I once called a DJ at the local station, I told him he pissed me off, and he called me fat.

Yea, that's my story, and if you don't like it...


(3 assholes | hey asshole)

Community Info [25 Feb 2004|03:18am]

[ mood | accomplished ]

Ok Assholes!
The new Owner/Mod. of this community is:


(13 assholes | hey asshole)

[28 Jan 2004|01:09am]

[ mood | crazy ]


(3 assholes | hey asshole)

News [24 Jan 2004|12:59am]

[ mood | I'll be back. ]

dradradrama Is the new mod. of this community, since I need to leave my LJ for a while.

That is all now get back to bitching!

(1 asshole | hey asshole)

Hey asses! [23 Jan 2004|11:50pm]

What community do you think really sucks? Well besides this one! Do you like Michael Jackson Jokes?...
This joke community really sucks and we need members: jackojokes

(hey asshole)

Hi [23 Jan 2004|11:57pm]

[ mood | creative ]

Hi. I'm Nice. Name's Steven. I like things!

(hey asshole)

[13 Jan 2004|05:04pm]


The Perfect Place For Assholes!

(4 assholes | hey asshole)

[08 Dec 2003|03:12pm]

[ mood | bored ]

Obviously,Im new.Looks like no one has updated her in awhile,so I will.Well Ive been told Im an asshole,and well I guesse I am.Im an asshole cause Im mean+I hate.I hate people.I hate GC fans.I have SP fans.I hate those god damn pop/punk bands.I really hate mest.I hate wiggers.I hate madison.I hate the cheerleaders at my school,most of them.I hate diet cherry 7up.I hate alot of people.You pretty much get the point.Well Im going to go because Im bored.

Fuck you,fuck you and fuck you.

(hey asshole)

[06 Dec 2003|02:40pm]

Looking for a fun community? Hate those "you have to be perfect" to post comms?
Ps... that community was a joke someone made.

(hey asshole)

MEAN PEOPLE RULE [20 Oct 2003|10:16pm]

[ mood | grumpy ]



(hey asshole)

[19 Oct 2003|12:32am]

[ mood | crappy ]

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<small><font . face=arial><b>
hey, names megan. i just joined because this community seems pretty kickass, and because i've been told by many people that i'm one of the meanest people they've ever met. although the most of the time, i don't feel i'm being mean, i look at it more as sarcasm.

anywho, i suppose i'll post more later.

(hey asshole)

Ima Noo-b XD [13 Oct 2003|07:09pm]

[ mood | pissed off ]

First entry. But for you all's benefit I will post about hate. I hate lots of things. Like that girl in my World Civ class who's trying to set up the guy I like with my arch nemesis. Or my Algebra teacher who's really annoying and gives me the "you can do better" lecture twice a day. There are lots of other things I hate.....like....BUNNIES. Okay I'm good. Anyways, My name's Ophelia, but you can call me Ophie. SO yea. Go check out my journal xopenxwoundsx for more on my life. And if anyone wants to IM me anytime, my sn is:



(2 assholes | hey asshole)

Grr... [19 Sep 2003|06:11am]

[ mood | aggravated ]

I dislike alot of things, and i hate to rant but I'm only human...so I must. Ok, things that bother me #1:

I hate that when you tell people that something they do bothers you, not only do they not stop, but they do it in a more frequent matter! WTF?

I hate when your friends get jelous that you have people over (not them) and then they have tons of people over and they don't invite you...don't get jelous and then do the same, I make mistakes sometimes.

I hate how people tell you to be yourself and then when you are they get mad at you and call you a freak! (this is to my parents! It REALLY pisses me off!)

I hate how teachers and parents and other athority subjects make you feel worthless for expressing your thoughts...

That's about it for now...I mean is it just me, or are these things really pissy?

(hey asshole)

GRRR! [10 Sep 2003|01:43am]

The music industres sueing of children! That's soo sad! If they didn't make it so cds cost $16 bucks and up, more people would buy them. It's been said that artists/bands only make a dollar a cd.

You can't stop the trading of music!
Hey fucks welcome to the age of the internet.

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